But here are some ideas..when you take higher classes in English your professors will stress the need to always edit your final paper. I know you are working a video but it essentially is a paper that informs and as one could be revised.

I would:

Stress the need for people that support cancer. (I would include people volunteering on "cancer walks") isn’t there a big one in your area this weekend for breast cancer?

I would use some of the telethon video that was filmed for national broadcast recently. Without violating infringement laws.

Personally I would like to see where you mention that people die of cancer…a graveyard in the background.

For hope a dove flying.

I would have a fast sequence of different faces (200 within 30 seconds) that would show the different races, ages, of people that could get cancer.

I would show young people fighting cancer ( pictures of children in hosipital).

I would call for a demand of action. What every good paper does.

You have a good video, with work it can be a great video.

As is….it is fine. But like a paper it could be worked on to be something greater.