pulled pork and sausage, burgers with all the fixins
shrimp wrapped in bacon with horseradish and bbq sauce
pea salad
potato salad
pasta salad
coleslaw
7 layer dip with tortilla chips
stuffed mushroom caps
mini quiches
fruit boats or table displays in baskets
veggie trays with dips
cheese and pepperoni with crackers
hot artichoke dip
hot crap dip

you don’t need a theme since you are doubley celebrating his life that night

Do you really need a theme? They usually end up hokey. Decorating very nice is usually a better idea. I’d set up some torches near the pool.. I’d get some floating candles for if it gets to nightime. You might want to get an EZ up tent and drape it with sheer fabric…
Go to your local home depot or wherever you can get tropical plants and arrange them around the food table. Beautiful floral arrangements are great but the best ones can be incredibly long twigs stuck in a vase with a couple of huge palm leaves and maybe two simple flowers.
Battery operated candles are the greatest to set around the table.. look on the home shopping network for those.

Don’t forget table cloths… if only for the serving table.

(If you really want to go overboard and have a theme.. then make it a morrocan party complete with cous cous.. draped sheer colorful fabrics.. tents, candles.. you can even throw in a few hookahs!)

ok. i could go on and on….

For food, it really depends on whether you want to feed a real meal or snacks and appetizers. And whether or not you intend to serve adult beverages.

There are plenty of punch recipes available, both for non-alcoholic and high octane varieties.

For the sake of budget, I’d suggest having a variety of appetizers and finger foods available. Lots of chips a big variety of dips, cheese, and crackers, cheese balls, sausage balls, pigs-in-blankets, you get the idea.

Offer your husband my congratulations on both the birthdays.

Doc

Some websites will give you some ideas.

If you can a place where photoes can flash up and include plenty of photoes over the years as well as many friends and family too.

Have you thought about asking your friends to bring along say a dollar or loose change and any money will be donated to a local charity for cancer? Not compulsory of course!

For food, I would do what the guests of honor favorites are. Being it’s outside with a pool, you can do a cookout with hamburgers and hot dogs and then add dishes like ziti, chicken, and some sides with it. Like corn, salads, sausage, peppers, and onions, etc. You can ask others to bring a dish etc.

For desserts, you can have the cakes for the 40th and the 5year I would separate cakes for each being they’re such special occasions. You can then do cookies, ice cream, etc, and ask people if they have any they want to bring, you can do fruit salad for people that don’t want too many sweets, brownies, etc.

For decorations I would stick with the standard balloons and some streamers and if you have an overhang where there’s shade, you can dangle some things underneath.

I would definitely get a boutineirre or corsages for the guests of honors. I’m not sure when you 40th if you mean b’day or anniversary, but I would get corsages or boutinierres for the guests of honors.

For the pool, I would put some inflatable beach balls in there from the dollar store for everyone to play with.

I would also set up some lounge chairs and waterproof cushions around the pool for everyone to sit around and hang out when they’re not swimming so they can lounge.

For the pool, get an inflatable boat and fill it with ice and put it in the pool. Then put bottled drinks in there, water, soda, etc, and float it in the pool so when the swimmers want something to drink, it’s floating in the boat in the pool! Just make sure to tell them that the bottle caps go back in the boat or waaayyy off to the side of the pool so they do NOT damage the filter! You do NOT want the caps getting into the filter. It’s an awesome effect and decoration to have the boat filled with the drinks just make sure not to have them throw the bottle caps in the pool.

You can set up a volleyball net so people can play volleyball.

You can also set up an ice cream bar, get chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry ice cream and some toppings. Sprinkles, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and cherries and let everyone make their own sundaes.

I would suggest you go to Costco, BJs, or Sam’s Club, for the things you can get there and buy them in bulk. If you don’t have a membership, ask someone that does to go with you. You can get the paper goods for the plates, napkins, spoons, knives, and forks, cups, bowls for ice cream and desserts, cups for coffee, everything you’re going to need in bulk is going to be MUCH cheaper there! You can even get hamburgers and hot dogs and the rolls there and it’s going to be a better deal.

I hope some of these ideas help and that you have a great party!