Cancer Treatment Options Forum - July 17th, 2011 - 10 Comments
my brother john (38) was recently diagnosed with cancer. he is recieving chemo and is very ill from it.?
i am assuming he is embarassed b/c of his appearance and health because of the chemo and that is why he refuses to ask for help with things. we are having a family get-together soon with all the cousins, kids etc. he is going to try and do everything he always does even in his condition because he doesnt want to seem weak. he also is embarassed by his neuropathy (hands shaking) due to chemo and has trouble holding things because of it. how can i make him more comftorable?
What the hell do you expect? They are pumping controlled poison into his body.
Try asking HIM what you can do to make him more comfortable. What are his concerns?
You know what? Maybe you’d do better to get a sensitive girl he trusts to ask him. I’m the one in my family who negotiates feelings, lol. Nobody can resist my little heart-to-hearts. For my aunt with cancer, all it took was a shopping expedition for some hot new shoes, new dress and a cute hat. My grandfather is a tough old coot who won’t take help from anyone… except me. He was embarrassed about needing to use his mobility scooter at a family wedding… So, since he has a keen sense of humor, I decorated his scooter and made it look like it was wearing a tuxedo. Then I tied a "screwball" flag so it bobbed off the back. His scooter was the hit of the wedding. It made him happy, people enjoyed it, etc.
So. Gage his personality. You can do something to give him confidence. Whether it is something physical, humorous, etc.
Pray for him, and try to always put a smile on his face.
My mother had breast cancer and been in remission for about 19 yrs..Just treat him like he didnt even have it. Treat him normally not like he has a disease
Im sorry to hear that…Do the things he loves to do…
Cancer is extremely hard on all family members and the best thing is to
Well if he has no hair he can always wear a ball cap, that is the solution for men undergoing chemo. I don’t understand why people who are undergoing treatment need to be ashamed of it. It isn’t worse than any other disease that people unfortunately get. Even if he got his cancer from smoking I don’t think it is right to look down on him. I guess he doesn’t want the disease to rob him of all his dignity, and I guess if you feel the need to help him, do it in small ways that are unobtrusive. Let him do what he can himself but help him where it is clear he needs help.
ask him what he needs.. be a support… keep humor..
see if you can find some assistive deviced that he migt be willing to use or make his life easier… thinkgs that fit in the family struture….. using light plates…. paper plates.. plastic plates… stuff that let’s hum adapt for himself and allows independence…
check out abledata or allegromedical for some ideas…
good fortune
During chemo you get tired of not being able to do things and you assume you can do it. The problem is when it comes to crunch time, you realize that you cannot do it. Show up at the door step the day before and the day of, he may very well need your help, but asking for it is just admitting weakness.
Do not push him out of the kitchen, but be there and offer to cut vegetables, ect.
Do what sisters are supposed to do with their brothers … take charge when they are being stupid.
Sit him down and say, "Brother dearest, sit down and take it easy, or I’ll smack you like I did when you were in third grade and had the measlesand wouldn’t stay in bed. Chemo makes you feel like crap, we all know it and you don’t have to go all macho on us."
I think you should just treat him the way, you have been treating him before he got sick. Let him know there is nothing to be embarrass of. I am going to pray for you and your brother. God love him and he is the one who have the last say so over his life.
I’m sorry my mom will be doing the chemo thing w radiation soon. Try and focus on the recovery to follow prayer/healing never hurts. Telling him stories of the millions who beat it can help alot 38 is very young when it comes to cancer he has whole life ahead. His youth works in his favor. People in their 80′s beat it My mom is 67 and we still feel that way
1. Pray Pray Pray!
2. Talk to him a lot
3. Make him laugh
4. Let him know you care!
5. Help him, make sure he knows you are there for him
6. Make sure everyone ( especially little kids ) that come and see him knows not to comment on how he looks or feels.
I’ll pray too, just don’t worry he’ll be fine!