Cancer Treatment Options Forum - May 14th, 2011 - 4 Comments
my husband has cancer, and his 41st birthday is coming up. he is in chemo and hasnt been able to do much latel?
i dont want to throw a big party because we did a HUGE surprise party last year,and i dont think he would feel up to it now anyway. what can we do to make his bday special at home?
The biggest question ever and the most help you can ever give a husband with cancer…is making life happen, no matter what stage of cancer they are in.
My husband had to medically retire from his employment due to his cancer. His office wanted to throw him a retirement party, and contacted me to do help guide them on how to do it. Now, there were two factors at play for me…one he threw up almost anything he ate and two getting dressed wore him out (I took care of all his dressing and undressing, clean up, shaving ect…) So, I did two things.
First I told them a list of things cheese and crackers ect…that I knew my husband could tolerate and told them not to make food the center of the party.
Then I set the dress theme as "retirement attire" come in your PJs, sweats, or holy t-shirts. This way my husband didn’t have to expend energy on getting dressed, and he didn’t feel like the only "naked" person in the room so to speak.
So my advice as a "chemo wife" is that you know what your husband’s strengths and weaknesses are better than anyone. Tailor a small intimate party to meet him where he is right now. Invite the people he feels most comfortable with right now. Do an activity together that you feel he can both tolerate, and enjoy….pick his favorite movie, rent it and theme your party around it and have everyone watch it with lite snacks he enjoys.
If you don’t think he can tolerate guests at all…do a "all about him" evening just the two of you and pamper him. Get a relaxing scented lotion and give him a massage, play his fave music. I used to disguise the normal care (cleaning, shaving ect) as romantic fun.
I hope any of this helps honey!!
When my husband had leukemia (he survived it), we had a catered meal from the best restaurant in the area for his birthday. I set the table all fancy, like we do for holidays, and we had candles, some wine, and I made a cake.
Even during chemo, the man’s got to eat dinner, so splurging on a lavish meal isn’t too demanding for him even if he’s feeling pretty rocky.
Hope he’s feeling better and in remission ASAP.
the beast thing you can do is be there With family and Friends and have CAM celebration you can still do a surprise party just calmly tell him
I don’t think I can top what Lisa said. Really good advice. No substitute for being there is there LIsa?