Cancer Treatment Options Forum - October 14th, 2010 - 8 Comments
My wife has cancer, and has been having chemo and radiation treatments.?
After talking with her doctors, she has decided to stop the treatments. She is tired of being sick, and wants some quality time this summer while our daughters are home from college. She asked me last night if I thought I would ever marry again. Do they write a book for stupid men on what to say and not say to the women they love that are dying of cancer?
We lost both of my parents to cancer. I have been exposed. Has she tried smoking pot just before and after a treatment? I understand it is great for the nausea. Anything is worth a try. I would be cautious about stopping the treatments. I don’t know what I would say to mine if she were that ill. I suppose , anything that I thought would make her feel better. If I lost her, there is no way I could ever live with another woman. It just would not be fair to the other woman. I know that I would compare them and no one ever could compare with what I have. In my prayers, I always thank my Lord for watching over my Family and If I have to die today, that’s fine as long as I don’t outlive my Wife and Daughters. I just don’t think I could take it. You will have to be strong and gentle. Hard combo… And what about your Girls? How much do they know? Don’t hide things from them. It’s best they know. Otherwise, they might resent you for not telling them. I’ll pray for your Family. You do the same..
Fonz
Probably. Both my parents went through chemo and radiation, and both said they would never have begun it if they had known what it would do to them. So main thing, try to understand, and respect her for choosing quality of life over quantity. However, with that said, I have seen amazing.. and I mean like almost miracle things from natural treatments. Simple things like drinking blueberry juice can have profound effect. In your shoes, I would tell her you love her, and you respect her desire to have a little time free of the treatments.. but tell her don’t just give up. My mother in law was diagnosed "terminal" 6 yrs ago and she said well heck with it she had lived a long time she would just skip treatment. Her she is 6 yrs later, and while her body still has cancer in her body, she feels just fine and is still active, doing as she pleases. So just love her, tell her you won’t try to force her to suffer longer, but do suggest she at least consider alternative therapies.
I went through what you are experiencing about 5 years ago. It is a very difficult time for both of you. I think the most important thing for you to try to do is to make your wife as comfortable as possible, to show your love for her, and to support her in every possible way. I strongly believe that spouses should be honest with each other. Having said that, however, I concede that sometimes we find it expedient to be less than candid and honest ("Honey, how do I look in this new outfit?") So, on the question of marrying again, saying you just don’t know may be the best answer— and maybe the absolute honest answer— for the situation. I was never asked that question, and, yes, I did remarry about a year after my wife’s death, much to the shock of my three children.
Dealing with my wife’s seven months of battle with a horrible form of cancer was extremely difficult for both of us. I truly believe I did my best and I have few regrets about how I dealt with her final months. My main regret is that I wished I had talked to her about some things before she died. I suppose I became sort of numb or in some kind of denial, and it was only after her death that I realized that I had waited too long to talk to her about some things. One thing I did do was to let her know without doubt that I loved her totally.
Some people have stopped treatments and lived much longer then they ever thought they would. Could be she to has already had enough treatments. It is her life and her decision to make. One does get good & tired of being sick all the time trying to get well.— In the meantime Michael, why not encourage her to talk about living and focus on being happy in stead of talking about after death stuff. Keep in mind your wife has every reason to have depression. Her Mother just died and that brings death closer.
No one knows for sure about anything. My friend had to have a double mastectomy and we just knew her time was short. Her husband seemed so strong & had retired from the Navy and was working for the Fire Dept. in Indio,Calif., they just put out a box car fire and he sat down on the train track & died instantly of a heart attack. Mary lived many yrs. longer. One never knows. As to the question she ask you !!! Don’t make any death bed promises that you may regret later. Right now, that is the further est thing from your mind and you don’t even need to discuss that—. Your wife needs & wants your love and assurance that there will never be another, that can take her place in your life. Give it to her & have a great summer with family & friends.
Blessings to you all ~~~
Oh I’m so sorry to hear this. I wish you all strength.
Maybe you can tell her what Oscar Wilde said and what I have found to be true: Men remarry because they love their first wives, women remarry because they hate their first husbands.
Im sure there are a hundred of books, but you dont need any of them. Be honest, listen, tell her everyday how much you love her. You will do just what you are suppose to do. There are no rules.The main thing is this is her life, just be there. If you need us, we will always be just a phone call away, and can be there when you want us.
No, no one has written such a book yet. Likely they won’t because every man and woman is different. If she wants to stop treatments at least for a while, try to support her decision and enjoy the quality time with your daughters. For questions like that – that is thorny. I suspect the safest answer would be "I don’t know, but it would sure take me a long time".
Both my husband and I have been through chemo and radiation and we have both felt helpless in the face of the others pain. You do the best you can, and sometimes it isn’t as good as you would like it to be.
It sounds like she’s ready to give up – are you?
There’s a good chance that her cancer can be reversed – but you both have to be serious about it. Discounting what I say here because it sounds too simple to do any good will only result in disappointment.
Discuss any of this with your doctor, if you like.
The body is made up of a 75% solution of water and salt and it must keep this delicate balance to maintain proper health. Failure to do so will result in cell malfunction, tissue damage and disease.
Soft drinks, coffee, tea, alcohol and other alternative drinks do not supply the body with enough water like many people think they do. They act as diuretics and actually pull the water out of the body. In addition to this, normal body functions like respiration and kidney function cause us to lose even more water.
This water isn’t being replaced adequately. People don’t like the taste of water – it’s dull and has no character like the other drinks we’re brainwashed into buying. Of those who do drink water, the 20 or so ounces they consume in a day isn’t enough.
Diseases like cancer can be reversed and even cured by treating for dehydration. It’s only "too late" when it’s over.
You can find out more, such as exactly how to implement the water therapy by clicking on the link(s) below.
Wishing you the best…