Your Loved One Has Cancer–How do you feel about it? What are your emotions?

In recent decades things have changed and one field in which enormous change has taken place is that of medical science. A generation or two ago, news that a loved one had cancer struck many people with dread. It can still be a great shock to hear the disease has been discovered in your loved one’s body but more and more, people are beating cancer or learning to live with it. But it helps to know how you might react to cancer news today.

Shock is the most obvious emotion particularly if you have had no prior warning. If your loved one seems healthy and is living an active life, to be suddenly told they have cancer can mean a serious shock. If there is no history of cancer in the family then that only adds to the distress.

Anger is another common reaction. Why my wife or son or sister? It is only natural to want to shout at the heavens and blame God or someone, anyone for apparently bringing this disease close to your family.

Fear is a common emotion. Your loved one is facing mortality. How serious is the diagnosis? Is there a good prospect of recovery? Are they going to die? If so, when? You worry, lose sleep, seek answers and find your life is seriously interrupted. You are afraid.

Stress is prominent amongst the emotions people experience when the news of cancer in the family is discovered. If it’s a person who is a breadwinner, the worry of paying bills and keeping the family together is ever present. Will the house have to be sold? Stress often means interrupted sleep and so your health begins to suffer.

Sorrow can be a debilitating emotion. It can be associated with depression. A common expression is that someone has ‘dropped their bundle’. Sometimes the difficult times overwhelm us and we fall into a dark place. Our sorrow overtakes us and we find it tough to just get through each day. We may not be physically sick, it is our loved one who has cancer, but we can suffer seriously from the sadness which the news of the disease brings.

Anxiety can be a very public emotion. Someone who is anxious may fidget, not sit still, look worried, forget to do things and generally be on edge. Anxiety can come and go, be mild or debilitating. Of course the symptoms are easy to spot and we know the reason why someone is anxious.

Despair is at the serious end of our emotional scale. When we despair it means we are close to giving up. This is a terrible time for the desperate person and those around them. Hopefully it never comes to that situation but despair is present for those who are at their wit’s end.

Hope is a wonderful emotion to discover and hold onto. It shows the world you have courage and it helps you make it through the tough and really tough times. Many people find hope naturally because they are positive and upbeat, an optimist. For the rest of us, we can push ourselves to believe in the best possible outcome.